Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Yogurt Makes Me Angry.

Sometimes when I really love something...like...when I really love it a lot, I love it so much that the thought alone of it can make me angry.

Nine times out of ten these things revolve around a food I love. Or music. Mostly food. 
For example:
  • Carvel soft serve with rainbow sprinkles. I love it so much I'm upset.
  • The opening choir singing You Can't Always Get What You Want by The Stones. I am furious.
  • Nutella. Cookie Butter. Nutella and Cookie Butter. My head just exploded with anger.

Here is a new thing I'm pretty pissed off about.

See, I've been doing this no sugar thing since October but lately, I've been adding some sweet treats back into my life. This one is on the healthier side (unlike the Peeps Oreos that I had last night. Ssshhhhhh.) Back to yogurt. This yogurt is delicious. This yogurt is fucking delicious.

This is no Yoplait. No Dannon. Ellenos Greek Yogurt tastes like ice cream, it's better than a lot of ice cream I've had. This yogurt is a treat. You don't need any mix-ins, no toppings, no cereal would ever be worth stirring into this custard glory.
Are you kidding me.
I tried marionberry and lemon curd. 
I don't think I have to tell you how mad I am right now.
Jesus.

As you can tell from the fancy-pants packaging these are fancy-pants yogurts and not cheap. They are $3.99 at my local New Seasons grocery store. For ONE yogurt. That is almost four dollars.

I am willing to pay this amount for something that I love. Something that I now require. That I may have to get a part time job in order to continue eating. Just take all of my money Mr. and Mrs. Ellenos because I love you and your delicious yogurt so much.

So when you find me in the poorhouse sitting in a corner, licking the bottom of a marionberry yogurt container just know that I am happy. And incredibly angry.