Friday, February 13, 2015

Happy Valentine's Duds.

I heart Valentine's Day! Let's celebrate love, hearts, perfume, quality chocolate, 
pretty flowers and quality chocolate!

I heart childhood memories of classroom parties, passing out valentine's and making cards for my parents like this:

I especially heart sickeningly sweet '80s teendom valentines! 
Bad poetry, red carnations, "Suddenly" by Billy Ocean and romantic nights like this:

Today, I don't need anything fancy for Valentine's Day. I just love you and want to spend time with you. But maybe you can get me a nice card, and some of that chocolate I was talking about.

While I do heart Valentine's Day and all the things mentioned above, I do not heart the following Valentines:

Fifty Shades of Grey Bear.
Mr. Grey will see you now. Then he will seduce you with his silky, smoky Grey fur; smoldering Grey eyes; 
a handsome Grey suit and silver tie. He even comes with a mask and handcuffs. You can’t help but submit to loving him. This was all taken from The Vermont Teddy Bear Company website and no, I am not kidding. 
If you enjoy a stuffed toy that is into BDSM then this is the bear for you. 

Mall Jewelry. 
He got me an Open Hearts necklace and an Eiffel Tower charm for my Pandora Charm Bracelet. 


Drugstore Purchase.
Because I have enough mugs. And I don't want a plush novelty. 
Especially plush novelty in a mug. I really don't.

No wonder I've never liked these conversation hearts...they're just lousy Necco Wafers 
pounded into a heart shape. All these years I never knew. 
Crazy 4U? HOT CHA? OH YOU KID?!? I don't think so. 

Happy lover's day all. Put on "Songbird" by Kenny G, have a slow dance and save that last piece of *quality chocolate por moi.

*Quality chocolate is a giant, delicious box of Scotchmallow's from See's Candies. In case you were wondering.

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