Friday, January 10, 2014

Who's bad?

Recently, I was reminded of one of the bazillion stupid things I did as a teenager.

The other day somebody mentioned that their kid had crashed the family car and I was like…oh yeah...been there done that. Except I backed my dad's new car out of the garage INTO my mom's car that was parked in the driveway.

She laughed and it seemed to make her feel better.
I felt a little sick to my stomach and a little proud at the same time.
I thought of some other stupid things and I wondered if they were dated, 80’s stupid things or if teenagers today still partake in any of the following activities:
Piercing ears with ice cubes and potatoes.
My b/f/f Susie and I would sit on the couch watching MTV for hours painfully numbing our earlobes with ice cubes. Then we would pierce each other’s ears with straight pins while holding half a raw potato behind our ear. I think the potato was precautionary so we didn't shove a needle into our neck? I don’t really know what the potato was for. I had three holes in each ear and Susie had like six or eight. Many a feather and shiny lacquer lightning bolt was worn in those holes. We’d emerge from the TV room victorious, dripping with cold melted ice and blood. Pretty! My parents never seemed to mind or question that we did this; they just kind of shrugged their shoulders confused, and handed us towels.

Fresh off some piercing, Susie and I ready to listen to some
"Hard Habit to Break"/snack break that involved Crisco.

Setting the alarm for 2:00 a.m.
I didn’t set my alarm to study for the big test in the morning, I set it because we had HBO and classic films like Porky’s and So Fine were on in the middle of the night. I lay on the couch in front of our television in the living room looking at boobies and butts, scared to death that my parents were going to come downstairs and catch me.

Changing on the bus.
Before school, Mom put the kibosh on several outfits before I walked out the door to catch the bus. Not a problem. I’d go upstairs, change, put the offensive outfit in a bag and change back into it in the waaay back of the bus while my friends held up their Members Only jackets to shield me. One truly inappropriate outfit consisted of a Madonna Like a Virgin concert t-shirt which I had cut into a stylish half-shirt, denim mini skirt and fishnet stockings. Suitable eighth grade attire.
Not sure why my mom had a problem with this.

Sneaking out/staying out all night.
I would say I was spending the night at Tracy’s house and she would say she was spending the night at mine. Some nights we had a plan, a party, somewhere to go. Some nights…we did not. Those were long nights. Lots of walking around, sitting on sidewalks, scaring friends by knocking on their windows in the middle of the night and make outs with boys. I was the worst at sneaking out of my house, I got caught each time but like a trooper (and an idiot) I kept right on trying.

Me and Tracy on the bus.
Plotting, planning, changing into the above referenced Madonna t-shirt.

See...these things were stupid, but in the big picture of stupid stuff I did (shoplifting, changing the grades on my report card, wracking up charges when I thought I was calling "free" 976 numbers...) these really weren't that bad.
That Madonna t-shirt is pretty tame by today's standards.
And I'm guessing the modern teenager wouldn't risk getting in trouble for
watching a movie about jeans with holes cut in the butt.
This song has been playing in my head on a loop since 1981. 


  1. That video looks like an SNL spoof (and the woman singing looks like Laraine Newman circa 1981). Maybe it was the precursor to "Bad Idea Jeans".

  2. This could have been written by myself or any of my friends from back then. I know that when my son was in high school....I tried to remember all the crap I would get in to and make sure I didn't over-react but still act like a parent. (sneaking out consisted of walking out the front door, leaving me a note) I think we have way more memories than our kids do...bad or good, it seems to be the way it is.