Friday, November 8, 2013

No strip down at the strip mall.

Mondays are my day off - away from work, away from kids (until 2:15) and away from the world.

I treasure these days and try my damnedest not to schedule anything unless it's something awesome like coffee/brunch/lunch with the girls, a hike by myself up at Mount Tabor or simply lying on the couch sipping coffee watching miserable Kathie Lee and Hoda.

Today I had acupuncture at 8:30, right after I dropped the boys off.

Sometimes during acupuncture I go into this other worldly state where I hallucinate or nod off. Today I did both. If you are able to start your day by falling back asleep, I highly recommend it.

While entering my other worldly state I remembered an e-mail in my in box that was offering me something FREE, something I NEEDED, and something I could use TODAY.

A free car wash?  No.
Buy one get one free at Ben & Jerry's??  Sadly, nuh-uh.
Free organic turkey bacon from Whole Foods???  No, I used that coupon earlier this week. (Seriously, free fancy bacon!)

It was an e-mail inviting me in for a complimentary wax at the European Wax Center.

In my dreamy, vegetable state - lying face down on a heated massage table, my brain told me this had to be done - immediately.

It was a treat. An activity. And it was free.
I called in a haze from the car and made my appointment.

You may recall this previous post where I took advantage of another offer from the European Wax Center - I had quite the interesting bikini wax experience.

I decided that today I would try out this new location and get a bikini wax because hey, why not?
No, I'm not getting in a bathing suit anytime soon or doing my usual underwear modeling for the Sears Christmas Catalogue.
But it's nice to feel all neat and tidy, isn't it? SURE IT IS!

"PREPARE TO STRUT."

That last "wax center" was conveniently located right next to a liquor store in a fancy
area of Northwest Portland. 

This wax center is located about fifteen minutes up the freeway in a strip mall next
to a Mr. Formal, Target and Jay's Wide Shoes.
 


As I got closer to the less swanky location I caught a glimpse of my brows in the rear view mirror and thought they could use a little clean up. A little free clean up. I hoped the wax center wouldn't mind my change of heart in getting an appetizer rather than the full meal deal. I sure wouldn't mind if a stranger wanted me to look at their face as opposed to their cookie at the last minute.

So the strip mall suburbanite wax center was way more friendly and welcoming:


Less stark and snooty.
Also less photos of hairless men and women plastered all over
the place like the other location:

This couple clearly enjoys a good wax.

My waxers name was Rory and she gladly gave me a very nice brow wax.

The receptionist was also very nice - she did take a minute to go over the insane wax packages they offer which I can't imagine anyone in the world ever needing or wanting.
I mean, I can think of a zillion other things I could do with 500 smackers a month - can't you?
People in Europe must be extra hairy and have a lot of extra cash lying around.

Math is hard - but even I can recognize this is a hell of a lot of wax cash.

Bottom line I got a free wax without a stranger seeing my bottom.
And instead of hitting the liquor store afterward I hit the Target and got some 70% off Halloween loot.

Because I need more Halloween shit.

Welax. They're waxperts.


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