Thursday, April 4, 2013

Sucker for a spokesman.

I’m an ad junkie.

I love a commercial with a snappy song, slogan or jingle. I can’t remember how old I am or what year my car is, but I can sing the song from the Charlie perfume commercial that aired back in 1979, no problem.

A good spokesman is hard to come by. It takes real talent to implant a product in your brain for life. He has to have the voice, the look, the personality, the finesse and the crazy gleam in his eye. He must possess all this and more to be the complete spokes-package.

Below are my three favorite spokesmen ever.
They could sell sand in the desert, fish in the ocean, babies to an octomom...
You get the idea - they're good.

Tom Carvel.
My friends all know of my Carvel obsession - before Mick Jagger there was Tom Carvel.

My first spokes-boyfriend coincided beautifully with my love of really, really good soft serve ice cream and cakes shaped like whales, Santa Claus heads, and Cookie Pusses.



That gravelly voice, that unrehearsed delivery, that smoky sounding grandpa – that’s my Tom Carvel.

Crazy Eddie.
Here is what you need to know about Crazy Eddie:

1. He is crazy.

2. He has quality electronics and audio video component systems to unload at discount prices.

3. His prices are INSANE.

 

As a child I went to a Crazy Eddie store once, to purchase a radio with my dad. I was disappointed that Crazy Eddie himself wasn’t manning the cash register or trying to sell me component systems, whatever they are. I was also disappointed to learn that Crazy Eddie was just a crazy character played by a radio DJ named Jerry Carroll. To this day anytime I refer to anything as “insane” Crazy Eddie pops into my head. And I feel a little, well, you know, insane.

Sam Behr.
Time for a southern gentleman to join the group. Our move down south introduced us to Sam Behr, the face and voice for Allied Discount Tires who had locations throughout central Florida. My family and I loved these commercials - when they would come on we would call each other into the room so at the end we could all yell, "That's Allied Discount Tahhhhhrrrrrrrs!"



My favorite by old Sam was this gem where he seems so earnest yet also exhausted by the whole production.
Just buy the damn tires already.



Now who today is selling anything out there with this much passion?
Nobody.

So how could you resist buying ice cream/electronics/tires from these guys?
I couldn’t.

And I still can’t - even though I live thousands of miles away from a Carvel.

Thank you Safeway freezer section.
It's no Fudgie, but it'll do.

Oh, one last thing. I just tried calling the phone number on the Carvel commercial for old times sake to say hello, see if by chance some relative of Tom Carvel answered so I could tell them how much I love their product and it’s now "America’s Hottest Chat Line."
No shit.

They’re serving up something different now – it’s gone from cold and innocent to hot and steamy.

The “spokeswoman” on the line had nothing on Tom Carvel.

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