Friday, March 15, 2013

Too young to fall in love.

We have a radio station here in Portland called "The Brew" that plays what I lovingly refer to as buttrock.
Some highlights from their playlist today are:

Photograph by Def Leppard
Round and Round by Ratt
Here I Go Again by Whitesnake
No One Like You by Scorpions
T.N.T. by AC/DC

You get the picture – you can call it classic rock or whatever you want but it’s totally not - it’s buttrock.

My taste in music runs the gamut and sometimes, a lot lately, I find myself landing on The Brew to get my daily fix. You can also join the “Brew Crew” on their website where they also offer a “Prize Keg” and “The Babe of the Day” - it’s pretty good stuff.

The other day they played a Mötley Crüe song that I hadn’t heard in forever, Too Young to Fall in Love. It was from back in Mötley's makeup-wearing-glam days, back when I was in the seventh or eighth grade. Probably too young to be listening to a song with lyrics about whores and wearing outfits like this:

She's got legs.
And a hat.

But I listened to the music, wore the outfits, and did several other things I was too young to be doing.
Nothing life-changing, things lots of pre-teenage girls do.

You did them too, right?

Too Much Makeup.
I experimented with make up starting around the sixth grade. I had one angle – pile on as much as possible - because more is better. More makeup makes you look older and hotter to older hot boys. Duh. My parents finally had a makeup intervention with me where I was dragged to the Clinique counter and taught a little something about subtlety. Following my lesson, I continued to keep my Wet ‘n Wild screaming blue eyeliner and red lipstick in my Trapper Keeper. Bright blue eyeliner was my drug of choice, and no lady with a bun in a white lab coat could take my drug away from me. Ever.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
I was a horror movie junkie as a kid - my dad and I watched them together from a very young age. We enjoyed horror films of the so-bad-they’re-good genre as well as just plain scary ass movies involving monsters, killers, clowns, whatever. I don’t remember the exact age I watched a grainy VHS copy of the 1974 Tobe Hooper classic Texas Chainsaw, but I know I was BY MYSELF and waaaay too young to be watching it. And I knew I was too young at the time, but I couldn’t turn it off. I watched it several times, hoping the outcome would be different for the characters involved. But ce la vie, Leatherface pretty much wins out in the end. And Grandpa - with his hammer (shudder). It continues to and always will scare the crap out of me. And I will watch it again.

Got in cars with boys instead of seeing a movie.
Well, yes, I did get in cars with boys, and it wasn’t all Happy Days style to go find my thrill on blueberry hill. My little girl gang and I would get dressed to the nines and would have our parents drop us off at the Mission Bell shopping enter in Tampa, Florida. There was a movie theatre there as well as a strip, where people (mostly girls) walked up and down, back and forth and other people (mostly boys) drove really slow and honked horns and made catcalls. It was like animals on parade, where us girls were sticking out our feathers and the boys were trying to mate. For a pre-teen girl, this was all very exciting, although I will admit I was pretty clueless as to kissing and petting (thank you Happy Days) at this point in my life. Sometimes it was just that once around the strip in the El Camino with Hector that made me feel pretty special. And what the hell were my parents thinking? No one gets that dolled up to go sit in the dark at a movie with her girlfriends.

Ready to be driven to "the movies."
I was beyond desperate to be a teenager. Then be an adult. Just like a ba-zillion other pre-teen kids were and are today.

Today I am desperate to be a pre-teen girl again. I am reliving the days of pretending-to-walk-into-a-movie-theatre-then-jumping-into-a-car-with-a-boy by listening to Everybody Wants You by Billy Squier.


  1. I was just looking at some high school photos and my makeup was on so thick, I'm pretty sure I used a spackle trowel to put it on~

  2. I know CA, for me it was the insane amounts of both blue and black eyeliner - my poor mom and dad...

  3. You look like a 45 year old Latino woman in the last photo- very natural:o)