Friday, February 22, 2013

Two weekends at bernie's.

I love the 80's.

As a child of the late 70’s/early 80’s of course - everything was waaaay better back then.

I love my 80's music – Duran Duran, Depeche Mode, New Order.
You can try and argue with me that this was all new wave crap and that the 80's was a terrible decade for music and I will tell you...YOU ARE WRONG!
Because it was my music and I love it.

Today when I realize I listen to an “oldies” station I think being young in the backseat of the car, plugging my ears while my dad listened to doo-wop music and I feel really, really old.

And then I say to hell with it and crank up “Perfect Way” by Scritti Politti.

Movies were also way better, of course.
We had no fancy CGI effects - tell me the Kraken and Medusa in Clash of the Titans with Harry Hamlin weren’t way more believable than the Kraken and Medusa in that new-fangled remake.

I loved those brat-packers, crushed on all of them especially Duckie, Ferris, and Rob Lowe from Class to St. Elmo's Fire.

For the next two weekends I get to be in an 80's movie.

On stage.
I’m doing a stage production of the 1989 smash Weekend at Bernie’s.
And that is awesome.

You know...Weekend at Bernie’s, Andrew McCarthy, Jonathan Silverman and the dead guy, Bernie. They go to his fancy beach house for the weekend and find that Bernie is dead. Then they spend the weekend/entire movie pretending Bernie is alive. They maneuver his corpse like a marionette, he gets thrown out of a boat, off of buildings, and gets lucky.

Siskel and Ebert did not enjoy this movie.
I enjoyed this movie and saw it in the theatre – twice.

I play Tina, Bernie’s girlfriend and I am reliving my love of everything 80's through her.

Makeup – a shitload of black eyeliner, pink rouge and red, red lipstick. Because that all goes together so well. There was no subtlety back then, you did not go light on the lips because you had a lot of eye makeup on, you did it all – like a clown. And it looked good.

Homecoming 1988.

And hair? Let me bust out my goody pick and banana clip – get the Stiff Stuff and the hairdryer, I am ready to go. We had a dress rehearsal last night and it took me a good half-hour to wash out/weed through/re-wash out all that hairspray. I felt sixteen again, it was awesome. I could hear my dad yelling, “Hurry up, you’re using all the hot water, and Jesus Christ, TURN THAT PRINCE TAPE DOWWWWN.”

Wardrobe – in retrospect, what is wrong with shoulder pads? I say nothing. They, along with my giant hair, balance me out beautifully. I get to wear three costumes that each make me look like a linebacker with big boobs and a small waist, thank-you-very-much-costume-designer.

Jewelry is shiny, sparkly, and aplenty – you should be dripping in it. Rhinestones, stacked bracelets on both wrists, rings, multiple earrings - like the make up and the hair, more is better!

So to the haters who hate the music, and the movies, and the fashion, I say - bah!
I was thrilled to put on that make up and those costumes last night, each dress made me squeal.

Made me feel like I should be on a float singing "Danke Schoen."
Or telling a tough stoner dude he better not forget about me after giving him my diamond earring.
Or kissing a really cute boy over a birthday cake in a bridesmaids dress.

They took me straight back to 1989 – senior year, face full of paint, giant hair and shoulders, looking awesome.

Best. Costume. Ever.
Totally awesome.


1 comment:

  1. Hells YES!

    I just learned this weekend, while working with some High School students, that the "Oldies" station consists of the 80s. WHAT??!!??!!!

    I'll be rocking some 80s soon in Rumors at Lakewood - your blog has inspired me!

    Seeing Bernie's next weekend!