Friday, December 7, 2012

Making a list, checking it twice.

When I was younger I started counting down the days until Christmas pretty early in the year. Like, as soon as I had unwrapped my last gift from Santa and settled in with a giant slice of stolen and kooken that my Grandma Ewart had baked, I was busy stuffing my face and looking forward to next year.

Did anyone else’s grandmother make stolen for Christmas? Stolen was a dessert with dried fruits that kind of looked like a giant donut. And kooken? I don’t remember what the hell that was, but I ate it.

I loved making detailed lists of what I wanted for Christmas, as well as detailed lists of what the big man had delivered to me. I would divulge the list of my holiday haul to one of the most important parties that existed in my life – my diary.

I was eight years old. This was a very good year. A Barbie? A Charlies Angels doll? Pay Day? (Meh.) AND A LOOM? I made like 900 potholders on that thing and they were all awesome. I was handing them out like hotcakes to my mother, grandmothers, teachers, babysitters, strangers on the street, anyone who would take them. Oh, and hellllooo electronics - Merlin and Speak and Spell. A very good year indeed, despite the rainy weather. Oh, and Merry Christmas Dairy! I'm sure the cows had a big celebration. And Merry Christmas to you too, Hello Kitty Diary. I loved you.
Thank you Santa.

1987. I have grown up quite a bit and my taste is much more refined. Name brands are obviously very important - FORENZA sweaters, OUTBACK RED turtlenecks, "AXCESS" watch, BENETTON outfit and perfume, E-SPIRIT, LIZ CLAIBORNE, etc. But the best gift of all as you can see, was JASON. Obviously my self esteem was in the toilet, God only knows what he saw in me, with him being so "gorgeous" and all. A few days later Jason told me he loved me, got expelled from school, and I never saw him again. Happy New Year!


I'm happy to say I don't write down every little thing that I get for Christmas anymore. If I did it would probably read something like this:

This was the best Christmas ever. I got to sleep until 8:00 this morning! I had a really good cup of coffee. I laid by the fireplace like a cat until I was hot to the touch. I got some face wash and that vanilla lotion that I like and a new bra from Nordy's. And Scotchmallow's from See's Candies. And I got a new book about Mick Jagger.

I guess name brands still are a little important to me - Nordy's, See's Candies...

This would all make for another good year. 
Merry Christmas Diary. 

Christmas morning '79.
Stockings, bad haircuts, footie pajamas.


  1. I don't know what Scotchmallows are but I think I want a box

  2. Steve - these are Scotchmallows. II highly suggest getting some. Now.

  3. "Kuchen" is German for cake. My German grandmother always made a stollen and leibekuchen (love cakes. Basically molasses cookies) for Christmas.