Friday, August 17, 2012

Sock it to me.

If you follow me or have read any previous posts about my youth, you know that back in the day I was a bit of a joiner, a follower, a big jump-on-the-bandwagon kind of a girl.

As I look back, there were some trends that everybody was doing and were kooky, but tame (giant mall bangs, giant shoulder pads, giant gelled-nails, etc.)

Some were a little more, shall we say, stupid (Snooki-orange spray tan, fingerless lace gloves, super-skinny-over plucked eyebrows, bad tattoo, etc.)

Lately there have been a few things going on that I am intrigued/confused by:

The Sock Bun.
Many friends have sang the praises of the almighty sock bun, telling me how it has changed their lives and turned their meek, tiny, average buns into SUPER BUNS! All I knew was that it involved ruining a perfectly good pair of socks by cutting the toe off of a single sock to make the "donut" that I need to roll my hair up in. I was willing to sacrifice a sock for fashions sake. Or one of my husbands socks:

The Mullet Dress.
Party in the front and business in the back baby. This dress reminds me of many a boy I dated back in the day, especially this boy:

With Gary, my "King of the Mullets."
We both coulda used a sock bun on this night.

I see these all over and I think they are cute, but just like a maxi-dress, I don’t think they will work on me. A long, long dress on a short, short girl - not so good. But this one has the mullet feature, so my legs would show in the front and make me look less stumpy, right? But where the hell do I wear this thing? It’s too formal to wear on the weekend (I’m not watching TV or vacuuming my living room in a dress) and to casual to wear to work. Bottom line, I bought one at H&M and it still is sitting in my closet with the tags on it.

Mullet memories.

The Nail Art.
Really? Are we back here again? In seventh-grade I was painting polka dots and flowers on my digits. I even painted The Rolling Stones lips on my thumbs once – holy crap, that took a long time. Anyway, Sally Hansen - along with a couple of other companies - has put out little outfits that you can apply to your nails. It’s called Salon Effects and comes in patterns like leopard, glitter, tattoo, snakeskin, and a little tuxedo jacket. These are stickers you put on your nails so there’s no dry time, which seems to be the one good point they have. I think I’ll stick with trying to make sure I manage to put matching earrings and shoes on rather than worry about if my striped shirt is clashing with my houndstooth nails.

Nailed it.
What am I thinking? It's Friday! Tonight I will don the mullet dress, throw my hair up in an old dirty sock and paint my nails with green butterflies.

And I may still have those sweet opera gloves from the homecoming dance with Gary laying around somewhere.

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