Friday, August 10, 2012

She's a beauty.

Good things can happen when you use certain things that you have in your medicine cabinet, for other things, than the things you would normally use them for.

You know what I mean?

For example:

I booked a commercial job that shot today (YEA!) but - what do you know - I woke up yesterday morning with a  deep down hurt happening on my chin – not just a pimple, but a monster (BOO!)  I tried, and failed last night to get rid of it, thinking I could somehow perform a minor surgery and wake up miraculously cured. But when I woke up this morning it was still there, and it was all angry and RED.

And you know what I said?
SHIT!
And then you know what I said?
No problem!
Visine:
It's not just for eyeballs anymore.
Did you know that Visine (or any brand of eye drop) not only gets the red out of your peepers, it gets the red out of your pimples!
I washed my face, used a little antistrigent on the spot, and put a few eye drops on my finger. I applied it to the angry spot and let it dry…and…hey! It lightened up the red!

My pimple was no longer angry, it was just mildly pissed.
I guess this is an old beauty pageant trick - when you put eye drops on your zit it causes the blood vessel in there to temporarily shrink – the effect only lasts for a few hours and doesn’t help the pimple to go away, but it sure helped me in a pinch this morning.
When I got on the set this morning, the stylist sat me down in her chair and started to put a little powder on my face. "Ugh," I said pointing to my problem spot, "Is there anything you can do about THAT?" 
She waved her hand and said, "Big deal Lori, you barely notice it."

Thank you beauty queens.
I will now dig further into your pageant bag-of-tricks and try Preparation H on my under eye circles to make them less puffy, Vaseline on my teeth to make my smile super-shiny, and spray hairspray on my face to set my make up like a coat of varnish.
I will not, however, use duct tape to create "instant cleavage" because first of all I might put somebody's eye out, and secondly I have enough trouble mustering up the courage to yank a wax strip off of my bikini line. I'm not pulling glue-y tape off of my boobs.

What was I saying?
Oh yeah, the eye drops on the zit...
Makes me feel way less self-conscious, way better about myself.
Makes me feel like Miss America. Or Miss Universe. Or whichever one The Donald has coming up next.
Makes me want to smile and wave and answer hard questions.

My title:
"Miss-Not-So-Gigantic-Pimple."
Sponsored by Visine.



1 comment:

  1. I have small ta-tas and totally did the duct tape "trick" in high school. Ouch-ey-wow-wa!

    ReplyDelete