Friday, January 20, 2012

Am I blue?

Back in the day, I wore copious amounts of blue eye make up.

Items of note:
1. Blue shadow
2. Paisley jacket
3. Friends' awesome headband
My baby brown peepers were a stark contrast to the electric blue I smeared onto my poor little eyeballs. Blue shadow, blue liner, all topped off with insanely electric blue mascara. I remember my Wet ‘n Wild tube of blue mascara that I would cake on resulting in a look that was a cross between Tammy Faye Baker and the entire cast of The Smurfs.

Up until recently I have tried - and failed - in finding that perfect shade of blue that looks good on a dark eyed, dark haired, Italian girl.

I have several pencils in various shades of aqua, navy, lapis, baby, and slate blue that now reside in my children’s colored pencil box. They were beginning to become artistic as I was beginning to lose hope.

Until now.

My new eyeliner and latest obsession which my boys will not be using at craft time is by Laura Mercier. Black Turquoise is that perfect shade of back and blue together – exactly what I was looking for.

The texture is soft and creamy (I loathe a tough as lead eyeliner pencil - ouch) and the color is shimmery and stunning. More teal than turquoise, it has smoky dark undertones that completely work with my skin tone. I use it with a real neutral taupe shadow and bada-bing - blue finally works on me!

So if at first you don’t succeed…try, try again. I did, and I found my blue.
And my four year old went through his "blue phase" with his artwork.

Color us blue.

Items of note:
1. Screaming blue eye makeup
2. Mouth full of braces
3. Mom's awesome giant cat head shirt

Friday, January 13, 2012

The tribe has spoken.

Ahhh…the thought of being away on a tropical island without a care in the world.

Almost paradise.
What comes to mind?

• The sand between your toes?

• The bathtub warm crystal blue water?

• The guy that you meet on the beach and flirt with but don’t do anything beyond that because you have a boyfriend then you come home and break up with your boyfriend because you think the guy from the island might really be “the one” then you spend countless hours on the phone with the guy from the island and rack up an insane phone bill but you really connect and decide that he should fly from the island to Oregon to visit you because you are destined to be together and the second he walks off the plane you know in your gut he is not THE ONE but you go through the motions of the romantic weekend anyway?

My little pea-brain associates tropical islands with all that.

When I met "Island Seth" he was super hunky to me. Tall, blonde, and did I mention he lived on an island??? He used hairspray though, which in retrospect was kind of weird. Especially living on an island – wouldn’t it just get all crispy and goopy?

"Sometimes you need a little Finesse ~ sometimes you need a lot."
Seriously, look at the can - he used Finesse.

Seth tried to make out with me several times which I shockingly resisted, because of the aforementioned boyfriend. But after I got home I just couldn’t get Seth, or his helmet head full of hairspray, out of my head.

I expected to see my olive-skinned hunk with long board shorts, a tank top and flip flops walk off the plane. Instead, I spot a pasty guy in a baja shirt and cowboy boots.

I had made a reservation at a bed and breakfast for our first romantic evening together.

What was I thinking??? Jesus, this guy could have been a killer. I would be sleeping in a bed next to someone I had known for approximately nine hours of my life.

Let’s just say it was the opposite of romantic, and I drank a lot of beer to get though it and try and come up with a new game plan for the next couple of days. And please don’t think I’m snarky, it wasn’t the cowboy boots. It was the fact that we were opposite in every way possible and had absolutely nothing in common. How two people can manage to fall in lusty love over the phone and have zero spark between them in person is beyond me, but it can happen. Believe me.

The clincher was at breakfast the following morning after I ordered coffee he ordered “a pint of milk.”

I pushed my scrambled eggs around my plate as I sat across from him, blinded my his milk moustache I put on my sunglasses and began to shut down.

I was screwed. I ordered a Bloody Mary.

Somehow I got through those five looooooooong days. Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t feeling it either. After that first night there was no hand holdin’ or flirting from either party involved. I think he wanted back to his tropical paradise after day one. I'm sure he wanted out right after watching me down my breakfast alcohol while he had his morning milk.

I have not been back to an island since.

Today I choose to feel that sense of the tropics without having to don Hawaiian Tropic, some real nauseating coconut lotion, or having some guy fly six hours to see my ass (or not see my ass.)

Island Vanilla Body Butter by Pacifica is simply in a word, scrumptious. It is soft and sultry, with notes of Tahitian vanilla, honey and jasmine. The consistency of it is thick and rich and delicious and the vanilla scent isn’t too sweet or overpowering.

What can I say, sometimes I like to smell like a cookie and sometimes I like to smell like an island. This lotion makes me feel like I am one minus the tropical troubles I had with my not-so-future-hubby. I hope Seth ended up finding some milky sparks with someone. We had the hairspray in common, you think we could have made it work. 

Island in a tube.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Use my Clarisonic – drinkin’ gin and tonic.

It’s a fact: things that vibrate and buzz are just superior to non-buzzing non-vibrating products - I love a hand held gadget that goes buzz buzz. What girl doesn’t?

Like, I won a Sonicare toothbrush from my dentists office and my head almost popped off. First of all - I love to win things. Secondly, after one use I discovered that up until that moment I had been a cave woman using a prehistoric plastic toothbrush.

Patooie – I spit on you old, plastic toothbrush!

I had the same feeling after using my Clarisonic for the first time to clean my face.

I realize now my hands are no longer good enough to get my face clean. I need something that goes buzz buzz and makes me feel buzzy.

I had known about Clarisonic for years and wondered what all the buzz was about – I mean, it is kind of expensive, could it really make that much of a difference?

Yes it does.

I now feel as if get a mini-facial every night when I take my make up off. Just like my teeth feeling fresh-from-the-dentist-clean with my electric toothbrush, my face feels cleaner than ever after a swipe with my Clarisonic.

I can use any cleanser I want with it, so I can continue to use my old school Cetaphil that I adore, and my L’Oreal Revitalift moisturizer soaks into my skin better than ever after using it.

I use the sensitive brush, which feels awesome and soft, not Buf-Puf harsh or scratchy at all. It shuts off after 60 seconds, so no need to worry about overdoing it.

The booklet that came with it says it cleans my face up to six times better than just my hands alone.

SIX TIMES. That’s a lot.

I now give my hands the same “patooie” I gave to my old toothbrush.

Say hello to my little pink friend.