So now, I am off to another product that wants to take extra special care of your cookie.
Summer’s Eve is revamping the hell out of their ad campaign with their new slogan “Hail to the V.”
V is for vagina, in case you didn’t know that.
|Right next to the food court!|
Everyday of my life I walk by a Victoria’s Secret store that has a giant framed picture of a vagina in the window. I look at, it’s pretty, but it does kind of boggle my mind that a gi-normous framed picture of a vagina is hanging in the mall. Can you ever in your life, imagine that same shot of a man hanging in a mall store window for passers by to look at and admire? Blech.
Summer’s Eve new website is full of v-esque vines and berries that I have decided represent nipples – how could they not? There are cute little icons, a quiz to “ID your V”, a vagina owners manual (no joke), and of course, information about their many V friendly products.
|Keep this manual in a safe place - maybe along with the|
users manual for your '86 Honda and instructions on how to use
your new ice cream maker.
We’re not talking about douche here; we’re talking about a special wash, like a shampoo for your nether regions. For when soap and water are not good enough for your business.
Summer's Eve wants you to walk right down the feminine hygiene aisle of the grocery store loud and proud, their website states, “choose the checkout lane where the hottie is working and get your flirt on.” Because you want that hottie to know you want your V to smell like a melon for him.
Summer’s Eve Cleansing Wash comes in the following…um…flavors?
• Simply Sensitive – If your V is shy, enjoys a good book and the movie Steel Magnolias, this is the scent for you.
• Delicate Blossom – If you worry about your V shattering into pieces, because it is so delicate, and you want it to smell like a giant lily.
• Morning Paradise – This V is an early riser and enjoys long walks on the beach, sunsets, and travel.
• Naturally Normal – This is for the V that is…not mental? Normal, I guess.
The website asks, “how many cleansers do you have in your bathroom right now?”
Jeez, where do I begin? My mind races, um, I don’t know, 42?
The next question was easier, “Now, how many are specially formulated for your vaginal area?”
Okay, that would be zero.
Then in the same paragraph it says, that “two kinds of doctors have give the green light to use this product every day.” Is that a good thing? TWO KINDS of doctors? Only two? And what kinds of doctors, like a vet and a dentist? If it was an actual V doctor giving the green light, don’t you think they would be telling us that?
|I'm sure Cleopatra would have totally appreciated having these products available to her.|