My first and last home waxing experience did not end with the greatest of results due to the fact that:
• I have zero patience
• I don’t like to read directions
• I don’t enjoy ripping hair out of my own body
The first time I tried waxing was years ago and I was getting ready to go somewhere that required me putting on a bathing suit. I decided rather than spend money to get my bikini line waxed, I could take care of it at home myself, with one of those home waxing kits.
I think I have blocked out most of what happened that afternoon but here is what I do remember…
I heated up the wax in the microwave and put the scalding hot goo onto my business. After a blood curdling shriek I placed the thin sheet of paper on top of the wax and ran my hand over it to adhere it to the wax, just the way I had watched the professionals do on me. I took a deep breath and ripped the paper off. Well, halfway off. I had obviously used too much wax or pressed the paper down too hard because this was a pain like no other.
I walked around my house, sobbing and sweating with a half ripped off wax strip hanging from my cookie.
It took me at least an hour and a shot of tequila to get up the nerve to rip that other half off of my body, but I did it.
That must have been exactly what that guy in 127 Hours felt like, having to cut off his own arm and all. Hello, Hollywood? You should totally make a movie about me.
My friend Laura asked me last week to test drive a product she was interested in, VEET Ready-to-Use Wax Strips. Based on my last home wax experience, along with my Epilady nightmare that is permanently burned into my memory, I was a little hesitant. But I will do anything for my readers (well, mostly) and decided to give the VEET a go. The little kit was just under ten bucks at the grocery store, and I had a coupon, so how could I not try it?
I did have the booze on standby just in case.
I went into the bathroom and opened the box, it comes with 40 full size wax strips and six individually packaged finishing wipes. There is no wax to nuke, no mess! You just rub the unopened strip between your hands to warm it up, peel it apart, and slap it onto your leg/armpit/bikini line. I laid it down on my skin, took a deep breath, and quickly ripped it off.
The results? GREAT!
That first one of course hurts the most, but I carried on and thought I did a pretty decent job. Not as polished as a professional job would be, but overall pretty damn good!
My three year old bust through the bathroom door at one point in the middle of my Sunday evening project and asked what I was doing. I told him I was “shaving my legs” and showed him further down on my leg how the whole thing worked.
I held up the used wax strip now covered in hair.
“EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW” he said, running out the door.
He has a good point.