Wednesday, May 18, 2011

You're soaking in it.

Remember those commercials in the ‘70’s with Madge the manicurist? She forced ladies hands into a glass bowl of green goo and then “surprised” them by telling them it was Palmolive? They jumped in shock, yanking their upper class hands from the bowl. Madge strong-armed them back in.
Madge had a small beehive hairdo and a good one liner at the end of each commercial.

A customer would say: “Oh Madge, I’m just in love with this Palmolive.”
And she would say, “Uh-oh, does your husband know???”
And the woman would roll her eyes and say, “OH MADGE.”

Madge was pushy and loud; she would tell you like it is.

I am guessing Madge lived alone.


How pissed would you be if you paid good money for a manicure and then found out they were using dishwashing soap on your hands?

I would tell Madge she better bust out some something just a little bit fancier, seeing that I was paying good money to get my nails done and all. I wonder what she used for pedicures…Brillo Pads to buff away those pesky calluses?

I prefer to keep my hands soft without resorting to dish soap. I work in an office and touch a lot of paper on a daily basis. Stupid paper, sucking the moisture out of my hands.

Many a bottle/tube of hand cream has graced my top desk drawer over the years.

A good hand cream has to possess the perfect combination of features; it must be moisturizing without being gooey, and it has to sink in, but not to the point that you feel like you spent your money on something that totally disappears. Abracadabra, I want my six-dollars back.

I have a hand cream that I keep returning to like an old luv-ah.

Aveda’s Hand Relief is incredibly rich and leaves my hands feeling soft and smooth. I use it throughout the day and I have a tube of it on my nightstand that I put on before bed. It has that “Aveda” smell that I really dig, fresh, green and pretty without being overwhelming. A little goes a long way which makes the tube last a long time, so I don’t feel bad about spending a little extra money on fancy cream for my hands.

What would Madge have to say about that?

She would roll her eyes, make a “pfffft” sound and blow the hair out of her eyes, all brassy-like.

I bet Madge was receiving payola from those Palmolive people.
She’s probably somewhere soaking in a bathtub full of green gooey money as we speak.


  1. Madge! "You're soaking in it!" I love it when people know that reference.

    My fave hand lotion is Jack Black's Hand Healer. I guess its supposed to be for men, but whatever. When you have to wash your hands 100 times a shift, you'll use whatever works. I'll check out this Aveda item though!

  2. Where do you get jack blacks hand healer and why did jack put a lotion line out?! I'd b interested in some intense hand therapy if it works. I've tried the aveda many times too.

  3. I love the name Madge. Madge Faulkner -- has a nice ring to it for the second one if she's a girl. Although Madge could work for a boy to I suspect.