Friday, May 6, 2011

Word to your mother.

I have two boys, ages three and five.

Please do not get me wrong when I say that I love them to death, they are amazing and I would literally take a bullet for them. Hopefully it will never come to that, but I totally would. But sometimes…they drive me completely insane and make me want to get in my car and just keep driving and never turn back.

There, I said it. Any mother out there who says she has never felt that way is a liar, or insane herself.

Mothers Day is this weekend and I know a lot of moms (including myself) would prefer a day to themselves over a day with the family, and you know what? That is okay.

Here are some reasons that I think warrant wanting a little "me time":

  • This morning as I was opening the door to get into the shower, my older son burst in unexpectedly and I jumped, naked, saying “ooooh, you scared me!” He just kept about his business, pulled down his pants and peed in my toilet and a little on my foot. Good thing I was about to get into the shower.

  • My back is killing me from constantly bending over (and not in a good way) to pick up toys or food off the kitchen floor, tie shoes and put feet into pant holes.

  • There is never a day when I don’t step on a Lego with my bare feet. I am not kidding when I say that is some of the worst pain I have ever felt, and it can bring me to tears.

  • Miserable Dora the Explorer. I’d love a day without her looking up at me with her giant dead eyes and asking, “What was your favorite part of today?” (pause, pause, pause…) and answering to no one in particular ”ME TOO!” And if I have to hear that dammed map say, ”I’M THE MAP!!!” one more time, I may kill somebody.

  • Do you have small people come up to you with something gooey on their finger and hand you a booger to dispose of? Huh? Do you? You don't? Guess what? It is nauseating.

  • What I wouldn’t give for a night where I simply say goodnight, I love you; see you in the morning, and then not hear one more peep from anyone.

I do love them, dearly.
But I love myself too.

To all the mothers out there, take care of yourselves. Get a massage for that aching back. Have a steam or a sauna where no kindergartners are allowed to bust in on you. Watch a really good rated R movie instead of miserable Dora. Have a drink with your girlfriends instead of the loudest dinner of your life at Red Robin.

Don’t forget who you were and who you are, honor that and take care of you. Because you will be a better mother for it.

Remember, if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

I hit the motherload...two amazing grandma's and my mom.


  1. I'm teared up reading this. I get so sentimental about this 'thing' called motherhood. It's truly the ONLY thing in life that can be the BEST and the WORST thing simultaneously! After years of trying to conceive I am VERY grateful to be a Mom- twice. But, I'd also be REALLY grateful for a night of uninterrupted sleep:o)

  2. Agreed and right back 'atcha Tracie...

  3. Girl, this is perfect! I think you are a healthy, funny, perceptive mama. Keep it up! Those kids love you and I hope you take some time for yourself this weekend (alone, without dead-eyed Dora)!

  4. I hate that freaking "I'M THE MAP!" song too - and I only have heard it while babysitting. You're a great Mom, Lo!


  5. I was literally listening to Dora in the background while reading this. Why do I have an almost 5 year old watching Dora? Probably because I'm a failure as a mother. Just kidding. Love the post. Love you. Happy Mother's day, mama!

  6. You are great! Happy Mothers Day, Lori!

  7. Mame, you crack me up. If you had to choose between the map and the backpack from Diego who would you pick?

    Jocelyn, Thank you sweets! Back at you!