Monday, March 28, 2011

Bonus schmonus.

I like to get something for nothing.

When I win - even one stinkin’ dollar on a scratch-it ticket - my heart races and my hands sweat. I would be the ultimate lottery winner; the media would not have to do any prompting to get an insanely excited reaction from me.

Seriously, I get jacked up if my cereal is on sale at Safeway. You want to see me go really crazy? Hand me a five dollar Starbucks gift card; I will bounce off of the wall. Or even better, you know when they make that ‘mistake’ drink and ask if anybody wants it? Yeah, that will be me taking that five dollar frappucino while biting the side of my cheek trying to contain myself from letting out a little squeal.

But Bonus Time at the cosmetics counter, I have a hard time with you.

You make me tag on an additional fifteen to twenty-five bucks so I can spend enough money to get you.

You look so pretty in your Lucite display case, but when I open you up and lay you out on my bed, I have to say I am mostly disappointed. Sure, there is mascara here or an eye makeup remover there that may peak my interest, but overall, you are small and mostly not my style.

But you still tempt me with your pretty colors, fancy packaging, and something-for-nothing appeal. Like a hot one night stand at a bar, I will try to avoid you, knowing it may feel exciting and good in the moment, but I will most likely wake up with regret.

And if I throw one more plastic/fabric “free” makeup bag under my bathroom sink I will have to find a new place to keep the medicine I might actually need.

Bag Lady.


  1. I can't tell you how many Clinique lipsticks I have from the free gift....never my color. Can totally relate!!

  2. If you ever feel like giving away any of those snazzy bags, lemme know!